me: speaking of which, I’m working on building a cafe for st. genevieve
Ann: yay!
me: it’s called Definitely Not A Money Laundering Operation Cafe
“we have no idea if they’re joking or not”
me: also a nightclub called The Fourth Circle run by a demon, and a supergroup of literary themed heroes called The Book Club
me: they have to deal with vampire bella and harry potter themed heroes trying to join each year and the snobbier ones are driven to dramatics over it
‘I am the masked snout, based off CYRANO DE BERGERAC HIMSELF AND I WILL NOT SHARE A ROUNDTABLE WITH A SNOTNOSED NEW JERSEY BRAT FAKING A COCKNEY ACCENT’
Ann: Plus people trying to figure out how to make super powered Austen themed heroes.
me: Jane Eyre For An Eye
She eviscerates you with bon mots
me: IE batarangs but word shaped
Ann: “Candy?” “Shut up, Bella the Third.”
me: the poor fuckers registered as a public group to get extra funding which means they have to consider applicants
“oh joy. another katniss”
Ann: “I’m sorry, we have five Swans already.”
me: “there’s an Atlas Shrugged guy out there”
“Lock the doors”
Ann: “Why are the Katnii always blonde?”
me: “Are you a little insulted by the Dick and Jane duo?”
“I’ve grown numb”
Ann: “I dunno, remember Jack and Jill? they were pretty badass back in the day.”
me: “Bella, Bella, Carmilla, Bella, oh no they’re all getting together”
me: “We’re a literary supergroup, Mr…. Holmes.”
“Sherlock’s literary!”
“Your name is literally Benedict Superpants”
me: they spend a lot of time reconsidering their life choices
Ann: “I think we’re gonna have to change the name to the Insufferable Teens if we don’t get this sorted.”
me: “where are they even getting these superpowers!?”